plz grade my paper and edit?

Dear Mr. Daniel Garcia: Salutations Mr. Garcia, I hope you had a well enjoyed summer. My name is Kaylie Trinidad. I am writing to you because my family such as my mother and grandparents who shop for my school supplies and I are very upset with the new dress code. They were upset the first time you made a change to our uniform but, they thought it was not that major at the time except, now they think that it is becoming a more financial problem. As you have heard the economy is very low. While prices are going up low income families, such as mine will be struggling to adjust the way they use their money to buy their kids school supplies. Some parents will not be able to buy more supplies for their kids for a long time after the first few months of the school year. Parents who do work are able to afford to buy completely different supplies in just a few weeks, but most families as you know do not work, therefore those families will not be able to afford this late change at this time in the economy. Another thing about the topic lateness is it is too late in the summer to all-of-a-sudden say to families not to wear colorful shoes and regular plain navy blue sweaters. Another thing is the stockings. To children and young adults of all ages, clothing is a way to express ourselves. Without color the leaders of tomorrow will be nothing creative but robots craving not to inspire but to control. The future will be full of tyrants beating each other down to become a new leader. It sounds to me like a monarchy, people destroying powerful people to become just who the people they were knocking down. Is this what you want the world to become, a second version of England in its early stages? Which is why my family’s house hold among others believe you should return the dress code to what it was previously: navy blue bottoms and white shirts or blouses. Also I believe everyone likes the idea of not gigantic jewelry, and keeping cell phones in safe pockets hid away for safety reasons: children not being beaten up to be stolen from and losing expensive or sentimental valued items. Though you may want to have our school look like a well organized environment, to have a way to show us as a group, with all do respect I see it as us like a catholic school were yes the children are all in the same beliefs, but in this school we are all of different races, religions, and ethnicity. We are all different and should show how we feel in the way we put outfits together. You have the next big fashion designers who want to know what other people think and make awesome things come from regular things, and political leaders who need to examine life, scientists in the making, psychologist who see ways to help people in that school. These children including me are truly extremely bright. Color catches people’s eyes: truly would you be that interested if you just looked at this paper without looking at it? Sincerely, Kaylie Trinidad

its actually pretty good...although the last sentence confused me.

The whole thing is not good, I can only assume English is not your first language. However, it could be classified as average. This is unforgivable though - "To children and young adults of all ages, clothing is a way to express ourselves. Without color the leaders of tomorrow will be nothing creative but robots craving not to inspire but to control. The future will be full of tyrants beating each other down to become a new leader." Total bullshit, unworthy of being uttered. If you put this bs into your essay you had better be able to back it up with hard science. People will accept a formal essay that contains as many colloquialisms as you have put into this, they will not accept lies. You want a grade? - 2/100

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